So THIS is what 7am Feels Like!!!

well since I really don't know what to do right now as it is 7:30 am and I'm sitting at my desk here at work. I have a meeting at 9 and that is about all that I have to do today. I couldn't sleep for shit last night. I woke up at 2am after only falling asleep around midnight and couldn't fall back asleep.

I watched TV, nothing on. I read some of my book till my eyes hurt, still...not tired. checked email and putz'd around on the internet...still....wide awake!! so I watched the last episode of The L Word that I downloaded (which was really good and I hate Shane right about now which also pisses me off cuz I really loved her character damit and now I'm mad as hell at her.....shithead how could she do that to Carmen!!! UGH....WOMEN!!! UGH!!!!)

anyway....so it was like 530 and the roomie was out of the shower so I just decided to jump in and get ready for work. my alarm was set for 6 so I was due to be up anyway. the cool thing about being here so early is that I can leave early. like at noon!! yeah baby. I love my job. the meeting ends at 10:30 and ill sit here and putz around on the internet and then go home. I got it really good here. let me explain how this works....

as you may or may not know I work for a major insurance company in the home office so I don't actually work the "insurance" part, I'm part of a team which keeps the company in compliance with policies and procedures on a financial level. making sure that systems are working properly, users have access to what they should need and nothing more, financial statements are processed according to policy and basically keeping the employees up to date on compliance practices. you heard about Enron right...well our team makes sure that the higher ups don't make any mistakes so that what happened to Enron doesn't happen to us.

I am a contractor here. I don't work for the company I work for an agency that placed me here. I've been here for a year now and so basically when the team doesn't need me anymore I move on to another dept. which I like and is fun. I've been in this dept just short of a year now. the agency works exclusively for the company (which is huge) so there is always someplace for me to go. which is nice.

my actual job, my function here....I really have no idea. since I started this position my main purpose was/is keeping the documents on the team share drive up to standard and taking notes at meetings. well the share drive is up to date and has been for a long time now and meetings are once a week (Thursday) every once in a while there will be another here and there but that's about it. and I'd say maybe once a month if that....the team leader (who approves my timecard) will throw something meaningless at me like print documents and make a book for a conference she need to attend...kinda thing...but that doesn't happen very often. oh..also every quarter when we have our 3 day conference....I'm in charge of getting that all set up (every 3 months) and basically for the rest of the day I surf the net. on Fridays I run a report that takes about an hour to do. so if you were to calculate all that in a weeks time.....I do actual work about 4 hours a week.

now here is the kicker. my team lead, who approves my timecard, I never see. she's never in. she never sees me except on Thursdays. when she's out.....I'm not needed. now ask me how much she's out....LOL....most of the week. I typically come to work 2-3 days a week. but I get paid for a full week/40 hours.

I know you hate me right about now.

now I'm not complaining at all. I love it and I'm certainly going to miss it when it ends....if it ever does. she keeps threatening that the work is going to come.....lol....I'm still waiting. she's been saying that since I started working with her. its nice to have that flexibility. I never have to sit in traffic, I don't have to wake up really early....I do wish I had a clue as to what they do cuz sometimes listening to them talk I'm like.....HUH??? some things make sense...but some other times....omg.....its like another language.

anyway...I thought you might like to know since I'm sitting here now and I have an hour till my meeting starts and I have not a thing to do since I surfed all night.....lol

I think I'm going to get some coffee and maybe something to eat.....ill be back!

ok that didn't take long. instead of coffee I opted for yogurt with granola and a bottle of water. I've been trying to get back to eating healthy again. its been really hard and I'm not doing so well in that dept....but that's another entry....for another time.

mmm love yogurt and granola. I'm going to go see if I won a shopping spree....brb....

nope...didn't win...ah well

ok well I think I've bored you enough. I need to get prepared for the meeting now anyway. print documents I need, figure out where its at...all that good stuff. so you all have a wonderful day and ill chat with ya soon!

speaking of chat...if you have yahoo messenger and you want to chat....add me to your list. my screen is gems4fun

on AIM I'm jeanninehugs

add me and lets chat. I'm on mostly at night especially on the weekends...I get so bored when I'm working in during the night when it slows down.....would love the company!

65 degrees today!!! woo hoooo get out and enjoy the sun!!!

Then and Now

I'm watching tv one night and this commercial comes on for this radio station called The Drive comes on. its a fairly new station maybe out about a year now and plays all the old classic rock from the 70's and 80's, songs i grew up with. i made a mental note to remember the station so that i can check it out in the morning to see what they were about. so the next morning i get in my car and i go to the station and all im hearing are commercials so i programmed it and waited for the car to warm up. in the back of my mind im jonesing to hear my regular station cuz the morning crew is hysterical and all im hearing now are commercials so i went back to my routine. that was yesterday.

today on my way home i remembered the station and i went to it and again...commercials but only one this time and it went right into Billy Joels, Piano Man.

its amazing how much music influences our lives. I was immediately brought to tears which really isn't a big surprise since i cry at just about anything which really pisses me off God I HATE IT!! - but anyway...i was chocking back the tears.

first it was Billy Joel, then it was Bob Dylan...who reminded me of my parents back in the day (the 70's..eeek) which brought me to memories of camping which almost always brings me to this one night when me, my sister, and my two best friends, Bella and Doreen are going to the camper, it was dark, everyone was at the campfire and of course we were too cool to sit there so as we headed into the camper the first words out of my mouth was...(and i know my sister is hysterical right about now cuz she knows whats coming) but out of my 16 yr old mouth comes..." mom's not here lets pig out" and we all laugh and ho rah, etc.....

it was dark and were camping so as were lighting the lanterns much to my surprise.....theres mom. now awake and not very happy......i can laugh about it now but back then....i can tell you it was no joke. i was probably grounded to the tent im not really sure...but i know it couldn't have been good.

then im starting to hear Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, Boston, Elton John....which brings me to 19 when life sucked, i hated my parents (i thought) i hated living under "there rules" i avoided being home by working 3 jobs and my friends where everything to me. i was barely home. i had a 9 to 5, a 6-9 and on weekends i worked at the poolhall. my best friend Dyanna and i filled up all the hours in between doing whatever we could to fill the time. we had boyfriends, our stomping ground was the poolhall. we drank, we got high, we did everything together. it was 4 years of my life with her and my other friends from work hanging out at the church parking lot drinking and listening to this music. it was Jim and I, Dyanna and Bobby, Dave and Michelle. we did everything toghether. going to the rock club to hang out or us girls would go dancing at the Green Parrot till all hours of the night.

Led Zepplin always reminds me of Dave. He was the greatest guy ever and one of my best guy friends and he loved LZ. made me a huge fan. i always remember him when i here there songs and remember night hanging out at his house all night drinking, smoking, playing pool, he was crazy and always had something going on. all those nights hanging out at the park watching the cars go by. "crusin"...when it was ok to hang out in the street and not have to worry about drive-bys....we'd be sitting in the car and Stairway to Heaven would come on and we all would sing and play our air guitar and just have the best time. i always wondered what ever happened to them.

i remember the day i moved out of my house and into my first place. it was a room i rented for $50 a week. shortly thereafter i moved into the basement for and extra $25 a month. it was cool at the time. i was on my own. my mom and i weren't getting along and it was the right thing to do. i didn't really have much of a choice. it was rough time between us. fighting all the time. it was bad. moving helped our relationship temendously. tough love.

its so ironic how 20 years later im in the same place only this time im the mom. and though things are as good as they are going to be, still....i can now see how much pain i must have put my mom through when i was at that age. how many times ive said to myself...."i will never treat my kids that way!! i will be different." LOL....yeah right....i hear my mom everytime i open my mouth......its not funny...but it is.

Now...i look at my life and im greatful for the experience. Im glad that i have the opportunity to have that unconditional love and i know i do have it. its a great feeling. as much as it hurts at times you know its always there. and even though she is not technically my flesh and blood....i love her like my own. and i always will. and im greatful for that. and i also know that one day when she is all grown up and on her own and dealing with her own kids.....she will be thinking the same thing. and hopefully i will be around to get that call that i have made so many times to my mom telling her how sorry i was for being a rotten kid and how much i love her and realize now.....she was right.

so much influence music has on your life. 20 years of memories that each song holds.

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not really to much going on here. i look foward to wednesday night bingo. its about all i do now. i could play every night if i could afford it but i can't so i don't ...twice a week is enough. but its good to know its there if i need too get out. there really isn't much going on. Sunday made my 7 year anniversary here in Illinois. 7 years. and ive run out of things to do. i think im getting that itch. time to move on.

Im going to Vegas in June to visit Maggie for our birthdays!!! im excited. i can't wait. just waiting for the fare to go down and my mom might even come too. that would be awsome!! im really looking forward to seeing my friend and mom if she goes....though i think ill be making a trip to see mom anyway.....but since our birthdays are a day apart we decided to celebrate together and i think that would be the best birthday i have had in a very long time. especially since this is the big 4 0!!! celebrating 40 in Vegas....YEAH BABY!!! what can possibly top that!!

work is still there. im bored to tears there but im not complaining.

its FINALLY starting to warm up. thank you Jesus!! im looking foward to spring/summer....looking forward to seeing green again. ive been wanting to plant a garden but i don't know. we have dogs....they will trample and i don't want to start something i won't finish. i don't know. we'll see.

well i think that its for me. i need to shower and get ready. im so glad to be getting out of the house tonight. i think i would have gone crazy if i spend one more night at home. this town really needs to add some things to do.....im going to look into some summer activities. join leagues, get involved....DO SOMETHING!!! ok...thats it...

have a good one!!

Ramblings.....

you know...ive been sitting here for almost 6 hours now doing the work at home thing and i think i maybe took 10 calls. pisses me off. its supposed to be busy damit. ah well such is life. can't win them all i guess. i hate it when its slow....anyway....ive been also thinking a lot about what to say in this here journal since i haven't updated in a while and im trying to think of what is new and there really isn't anything to really talk about.....until now....

i just took an order for this gentleman who just bought a Gold Coin. now i understand being a collector and all but this man just paid $1,711.96 on this here gold coin. Seventeen hundred dollars. on a coin. something that is going to sit in a box im sure. thats a downpayment on a car...on anything really. something you can live in or drive....not sit in a fucking box!!!!!!!

but thats just me.

ive been talking to my friend Maggie for most of the night in chat and that was fun. she was drinking wine....then beer.....was on cam.....gotta love her!! im planning a trip to visit her in vegas next month. make a long weekend out of it. i need to get away and i haven't seem my friend in a long time.

and yes mom...im coming to see you too.....AND I MIGHT NEVER LEAVE!!!!! heh

i found out today that my brother is going back to iraq in october. not very happy about that.

so my car was acting up again. AMP light was going on so i was thinking the battery was going.....no...couln't be that easy. my altenator crapped out on me. another $300 bucks.

vegas is looking better and better......

me....im doing pretty good. can't really complain much. nothing worth complaining about....just taking it day by day and taking in what life throws my way....its all good in the hood...lol

oh...i am very excited that The Sopranos are back on. when i was with Renny she and i watched the sopranos from the beginning since ive never seen it and she loved it....so we watched it and now im hooked......the L Word is totally blowing me away......and my new favorite tv show is Greys Anatomy. OMG...LOVE IT!!!

have a great weekend folks
keep smiling!!
hugs, jeannine

Bad Credit, No Credit, Drunk!!....hmm...Lets buy a New TV!!!

Have you all met my new friend Chastity? Yeah....shes my new friend. I love her so much I'm stealing her hair. Yep...thats going to be the new doo. I need something different. I love my haircut....but its just not cute anymore. i need something a little different. and this is very close to what i have now (which is practically nothing) only with a little style...and well...more hair. I think it will be fun for the summer.

anyway...just wanted to share that with ya'll

so what is it with these people who KNOW they don't have any kind of credit never mind any GOOD credit make them think that applying for instant credit to get a monster tv or supped up computer system is going to miraclously give them any kind of credit at all!!!!!

i can usually tell right off the bat. they are usually drunk dialing. they see this gi-normus monster tv and they pick up the phone. slurring...i want this tv. drunk off there ass but coherent enough to hear that there is a deffered payment option where they don't have to pay for it for a whole year.....i can hear the tones now......

of course that only applies to company's credit card which drunk ass bob doesn't have and wants to get instant credit.

now you would think i would be happy about this. i get paid by the minute no matter what. so drunk ass bob can talk all he wants....i still get paid. but there comes a time when you've been sitting for 4 hours in the same spot, the calls are coming in back to back, you haven't even had the chance to freshen up your coffee which by now is so close to making its exit you can barely see straight..........and he calls.

he wants this tv

he wants instant credit

can barely say his name

after every sentence comes a story about his life

takes an hour to get an address

he can't see the lights are off

same questions over and over

to get declined.

shocking.......

45 minutes later........i still get paid....

i was finally able to get to the bathroom. i just had to make myself busy which i should have done hours ago. it finally slowed down some. calls were coming in like crazy....

anyway.....that was all i really had to say. nothing new. i can't believe its march already. 3 months to 40.

its 6 am now. i need to go to bed.

night night