Remember Me???

LOVE THE CHIN YOUR IN!!

well howdy folks. Me again....Just thought I would pop in to see what's going on. Nothing to exciting happening in my world. I did quit my second job at the Cellular place though. As you can see by the pic.....I was real busy that day. LOL actually it was a nice place to work but it was effecting my other job and I wasn't about to lose that one.....So therefore I had to let it go. Way to much brain power for me.

so that's the latest pic. Taken on my new camera phone...LOL. Yeah....Sarah and I went on a family plan so I now have a cell phone. Its very cool and I love my new toy. There is always something to do on it...LOL

so lets see...What been happening.

work is good. Still there.

still seeing Renny. Pretty much exclusively. LOL I guess you can say were a couple. I'm not really sure. We've established that we like each other very much and she's the only one I go out with and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one she sees...Since we see eachother quite often and are in some sort of communication when we don't. Lets just say it hasn't been officially established that we are. We meet for coffee mostly at IHOP and just rip on the patrons.....They are a funky bunch after a certain hour....LOL. Makes for good conversation. Not that were lacking by any means in that dept....But nonetheless.....Its entertainment at its best folks. But yeah....Its all good in the hood. Ill be spending the weekend at her place.....Woo hoooo!!! If its a rockin....Don't come a knockin.....LOL...I crack myself up....Sorry.....LOL

things at home are going good. Sarah and I are doing really great. She even got a job!! I'm really happy for her. She's been doing really well, going to school and being more responsible and more understanding. She also got rid of that girl which was a great step in her favor. I know she will find someone so much better for her. Someone to treat her with respect like she should be treated.

ok well I just re-read my last entry and basically repeated myself here...LOL...Yeah I'm doing good. LOL

I don't' feel like I'm in that slump anymore. Maybe a little but not like a couple of weeks ago. I'm feeling better now that I don't have that second job. I'm also getting away this weekend for a couple of days....To renny's. That will be nice. A friend of mine is moving and so she sold all her stuff.....I scored some major items!! A bedroom set (2 dressers, mirror, 2 nightstands), a 27" TV, vcr, stereo, microwave oven, coffee pot (automatic) all for $300. She also cleaned out her cabinets and gave me all her food, and some odds and ends she through in. I'm gonna miss her though. She's my bingo buddy.

speaking of bingo...I won $75 last weekend!! Yeah baby

so Sarah now has a place to put all her clothes!!

the roomie bought her 2 Italian leather black sofa's for a great price too. They are sooo freaking nice. If I had the space I would have taken them myself. But they look really good upstairs. And comfy too!!

hmmm lets see......It snowed like a mutha last weekend. I have pics on my flickr...Go check it out. Well that's all for now. I'm going to bed and try and sleep. I haven't been doing so well these last few days in that dept. Hopefully tonight will be different. Altogether its already 2am and I'm not really tired. As usual.

ciao fer now!!!

Random Thoughts.....

I seem to find myself in a slump again. its so strange how it happens....so gradual. day by day it gets worse and worse and I know its happening but I fail to stop it. I'm thinking that maybe this 2 job thing is not working for me. or maybe that's the slump talking. I know I need to get more sleep. as much as try to get to bed early it never happens and when I do I get woken up so I don't even bother anymore. then trying to get up early. omg I hate it. is this me turning 40?? I struggle so much with myself its almost amusing. anyway....I'm not going to complain today. maybe tomorrow....lol

so I finally got a cell phone. Sarah and I went on a family plan and it works out better for us both. hey did I tell you that she got a job!! way to go!! yeah...she's working for a local pet store as a grooming assistant. perfect job if you ask me....she is around animals all day. its perfect. she's still going to school and this time is doing much better about going. oh..and the girlfriend is gone. (thank the lord...ugh) she's doing so much better now. I'm so proud of her.

so work is good. the day job has been kinda slow these past few weeks but is starting to pick up again. that's good. the 2nd job I'm getting there I guess. I'm starting to think that its not for me. and I don't know if its because I'm dumb or if its because I just don't want to have to think that hard in a 2nd job. there is so much detail to remember.....SO MUCH!!!.....I'm not kidding or exaggerating.....I watch these kids (literally) spew out this stuff like its nothing and here I am stumbling. granted they have been doing this a lot longer than I have, but still....when I was in search for extra income, I wasn't' looking to strain my brain. I do enough of that during the day.....I was thinking of more like a "would you like some fries with that" kinda job. a no brainer....something along the lines of simple. now don't' get me wrong. I love a challenge....but for this...I'm just not feeling it. I find that I have a headache every time I go work. cuz I'm straining my brain to remember every freaking detail about all the plans and phones and options and features and how to solve problems. its really a lot harder than it looks. then again...maybe I'm just dumb. lol

hmmm.....social life is picking up. still seeing Renny. were definitely taking things very slow which is fine with both of us. were not in any hurry, but enjoy each others company when we go out. she's funny as hell and I got her to start her own blog....its linked up there on the right if you want to check it out.

I bought this salad for lunch today. it was a ready made salad that I used to get all the time.....which usually came with dressing except today...there was no dressing. so I ate a dry salad for lunch today and it was yucky. I just picked through it and dumped the rest. so disappointing.....

I need to get my shit together. along with this slump I'm in comes weight gain. completely out of control......AGAIN!! Jesus. will this cycle ever end. someone just beat me in the head already.......I just don't' get it. I know..its my doing...only I can change it...I know I know.....
January is already almost over. 40 is approaching mighty quickly. Renny asked me the other night how I really felt about it. good question. I mean...right now it doesn't' bother me to much. I'm sure as I get closer to it I will start to freak out a little. but then on the other hand I keep remember that Oprah show when she turned 40 and they talked about how wonderful it is and how life begins at 40. I sure hope so. but I'm sure if I had millions in the bank and someone to cook and clean for me I would be happy too. I always thought it would be different though. I know that I made my own choices and my life is what it is today by my own doing...but I always thought that by this time, I would have been more settled in my life. with the house, 2 cars, vacations every year, career job, money in the bank, you know....equity.

I don't have any of that. I live in a basement and my car is 1 bolt away from falling apart and I've got less than $100 to my name (and that's only because I just got paid yesterday....that is what's left...lol)

maybe this will be the year where I get my shit together. I definitely see a new car in my very near future.....perhaps by the end of the year I will have cleared up my bad credit and get enough money saved to have that house......or something I can call my own.

let me end this by saying that I am truly grateful for everything that I do have....my family, my friends, my home, my life, Sarah, everything. I didn't' want this to come off as me feeling sorry for myself, cuz that is not the case. I am Blessed. and I am happy. just thinking about the "what if's"

Have a great day!!

Little Denise

Coffee of the Day: caramel Mochiata

I used to work with Denise at Walmart. She was this little 5 foot tall GIANT of a lady in her late 40's ( I think) who you could never sit still. You had to chase her down to ask her a question. We were CSM's at walmart. Customer Service Managers if you didn't' know.....The red jackets. There was a group of us and we all got along great. Still to this day I see them and hang out with them and just have the best time. Denise didn't always go with us as she is the one married with kids. She always laughed, always had a smile...I don't think I've ever seen her really mad at anyone.....And even if she was bothered by something...She would tell you...For sure....But then it was like no big deal. She'll tell it like it.

You would never know it, but this GIANT of a woman had colon cancer. She's been through 3 surgeries, fought the battle and won, then it came back, had two more surgeries, kemo again.....And still.....You would never know it. Always had a smile or a laugh.....Always hopefull.

I found out recently that the cancer had spread to her brain and on Monday morning she died in her sleep.

she was such a great person to know and I'm so grateful to have known her. She was a great friend, a great co-worker, just a wonderful being of light. And it sucks that this disease that she fought so hard to conquer.....Won the battle.

you might have remembered me talking about her in past postings. I did a lot of fund raising for her at walmart. I'm gonna miss her. The wake is tomorrow.

Rest in Peace my friend......

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so I'm at work now. I have no energy at all to be here. I have this toothache from hell. I'm tired I feel like a cow and all I want to do is go home and sleep.

maybe this 2 job thing is not working for me. I don't know. I like the second job, but I'm not sure if I have it in me to do it. I honestly don't know if I will ever get it. There is just so much to remember. I feel like the grandmother of the place. Everyone there is 23 and under. Seriously. I don't know. I might have to rethink this.

I've been eating way to much lately. And I feel it. There will be a feedbag entry soon on that.
well I guess I should get back to work. Maybe ill update this later on again......

Back To Work...

ahhh.... another slow week for me for sure. I observed this morning the people who I work with. you have to understand....I am in corporate world now. the company is HUGE. the office is HUGE....there are thousands of people here. last week.....3 showed up. myself included. this week....were back to parking in Idaho. but that's ok cuz I found a close spot today....go me!! sometimes you just have to plan it just right. and apparently I did. so anyway...I'm walking through the halls....strolling more like.....and I'm checking out the clientele. I like to watch people. I also make a habit of talking to them too because I know that I make everyone uncomfortable being fat AND gay.....oooo watch out for her.....LOL. I am sooo not corporate.
anyway...I make a point to at least say good morning to everyone in passing. I'm not obnoxious about it...just being nice. ya know. well I was passing this woman this morning and I say good morning. she looked a little tired. it was 10 am. she was holding her starbucks but obviously not had her first sip yet as she grumbled as she passed me. LOL.... just cracked me up. 2 other men passed, I say GM and they looked out the window like I was invisible......heh.....love it. I also observed the clienteles attire. everyone in there "business casual" outfits which consist of slacks and a button down shirt/tie, ladies in there business suites and/or slacks with a sweater. hair nice a purdy. they all look the same.
and here I come with my spiked hair, black jeans (god forbid I wear blue on any other day but Friday), a polo and my hoodie. I have my "business attire" bag over my shoulder wearing comfortable shoes. I never wear my badge either. such a rebel.
speaking of my hair.....I seem to have made the right decision on this cut. it seems that this is a good look for me!! I've received many compliments from friends and strangers in the street about my hair. Finally I did something right!! lol
so they have been building a starbucks in my building across from the cafeteria and today was its grand opening.......I completely by-passed the food and went right for coffee and I think I'm in love. starbucks is my best friend and after 10 cups I get one free!!! wooo hooooo!!!!
I need a calendar for my desk.
it is like 50 degrees outside. its dreary...but its nice. its been raining the last 2 days on and off. there is no snow left on the ground and it was strange to see the grass. its been so long. it would be nice if it would just stay like this ill April and then the sun can come out again......just don't snow, and don't get cold. is that to much to ask???
I've been getting to know one of my readers these last few days.....she's so cool!! :o) I think we will be become great friends......
its nice to have a purpose in life. I feel like life will be getting better. rejuvenated. maybe its because I'm working more, making more money, maybe its because I have a potential love interest, maybe cuz I'm going to be 40 this year and they say that 40 is when you life truly begins......perhaps its all the great friends I'm making and people I'm meeting. I don't know what it is.....but it feels good. I hope it sticks around. these last 5 months have been hell and finally I'm able to smile again. I know I keep saying this...but I can truly see new beginnings.
ok well I guess that's it for me. I could write all day long since I have nothing else to do.....but I won't subject you to that. I am going to update the feedbag so you can check that out too. its not going to be much. just a start.
have a great day!!!

Howdy Folks!

ok, so I'm a day late...Ah well. I actually tried to write an entry yesterday but I wasn't able to get in here...Kept freezing on me. So here I am....

My New Year celebration was ok. Didn't do much. I did go to bingo. Didn't win anything...But it was fun all the same. Afterwards my bingo buddy invited me to her place. She was the landlord the the apartment complex that I used to live in so I wasn't far from home. She made this nacho dip thing that was pretty good and she opened a bottle of champange. I had 2 glasses, it was midnight.......And about 10 min later I went home. I did have to work...So I really couldn't stay long anyway. Sarah went to a party in Chicago with her friends and she had a great time. She stayed there overnight so I was glad about that. Really didn't' want her driving around with all the drunks on the street and then she can do what she wants without having to worry about driving. So all in all it was pretty good.

the roomies went away this weekend so it was kinda quiet here. I've had off from work since Thursday and I'm looking forward to getting back to work. Even though this week will be much of the same. Boss still on vacation. vacation = not much to do for jeannine. Its all good.

so I've been working on the goals. Sarah and I spent the last two days gutting this place out. Closets, junk draws/cabinets, clothes...We have 4 bags to go to salvation army. Just basically pulled everything out and reorganized. There is still some to do but the bulk of it is done, which is nice. Were talking about re-painting. I'm liking our ideas. Could be interesting. I'm not looking forward to moving all the damn furniture...But ah well. I need the exercise...LOL

I haven't bought a pack a cigarettes since 12/21 but I have had about 4 since then. And only recently. So that is much better. I would rather have one every couple of days if needed....I enjoy it much more then. I really don't want to be a "smoker"...But I do enjoy the occasional one. Especially when having a cocktail. (or 12)

I'm going to make myself a chart (or get one of those freebie calendars from walmart) and chart my exercise. Keep a record of it to keep me on track. I will be doing it tonight. At some point. LOL

it seems that my last goal is in effect. Its not love but I seem to have caught someone's attention. We've been chatting online and we had met for breakfast one morning then dinner the next day and movies that night....Friendship has definitely been accomplished. We just clicked. Then she went to TX to visit her family for the holidays and have been talking each day. Which was nice. At first I really didn't think past the friendship level. In the chat room we play around like were "luvahs" but it was all fun in games.....Besides.....She's got a girlfriend. So I was happy to have found a friend doesn't live in another state, who likes to hang out and doesn't' mind the drive....(she lives just under an hour away) is not that far to drive too....Has her own place that I can get away too if need be.....It was all good.

so were talking one night and I was asking her about her relationship to find out it wasn't really a relationship, too long a story to tell here......But that she liked me a lot and would like to take it to the next level. I was pretty surprised. In a good way. So she comes back on Wednesday and we meet for dinner and I guess we'll see what happens. So goal #10 in progress.....LOL

I'm kind looking forward to 2006. I'm hoping for a lot of new beginnings. I'm hoping for change and I'm really hoping to achieve my goals. I really want to make this happen. I really want to lose the weight, save the money, get my finances under control, get my life in order.

here's to new beginnings!
Love & Hugs, Jeannine